Thursday, July 24, 2008
Since yesterday the pit inside my heart is burning at million degree. Wat trigger the burning? Coz of a stupid old man lar, just because i sign out for the key that does not mean i'm the last one to leave the room. And most important, when we leave that room on wednesday all the 3 including me in the room had ensure tha the aircon were already off. And most important in the morning when i reach that room forgetting my schedule, i saw that none of the air con are on. yet during lunch hour, he blame me for not switching off the aircon and leaving it off overnite. Go damm it, if u really mind not offing the air con so much, go and install a system control that will cut the whole damm room off of electricity. Spend a lump sum now instead of spending hundred more each month finding ppl to blame. Last sem oso like that for another room, to ensure that i never leave any air con on, i will double check. Then got once during the afternoon duty to be stationed inside, i just leave the room to visit the ladies and check on other ccas' practices. So i leave the air con on for abt 10-20mins. But the next day, that bloody old man scream and yell saying i never off the air con. After explaining to him, knowing he is in the wrong yet, not a single apology. Lucky my hearing are slightly affected due to the ear infection that never really heal since Feb 08,if not i wonder will happen to my eardrum for listen to such a deaf defying volume. Then now i felt so reluntance to do my tuesday's duty. I rather stay in the hot, stuffy, full of germs and virus staffroom. To speak the truth, there are alot of signs of foul plays done by others. How i wish, i am able to catch them red-handed.
Then Today, ask my dad, how to go to Punggol Jetty. Already mention to him numerous times, i going there by taxi. So after exiting TPE toward punggol which way should i go in case the taxi driver doesn't know the way. And him , busy watching his WWE, keep saying take bus number 38 will be cheaper and take it to Punggol interchange there will have shuttle bus service to Punggol Jetty. BUT THE THING IS I'M TAKING TAXI THERE!!! NOT BUS!!! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I REPEAT MYSELF. Talk to you about the important of quit smoking, you just like to bring out tons of your friends' failures attempts of quiting or 'example' with no scientific proof of quiting smoking cause diseases.
And a lot of my frens they are so damm self centred. Told them i have my own planning for the evening i can't make it or other times for other stuffs, keep threatening me with all kinds of things like wat flavours i own them, the promises i make for them or the way they treat me.
To those who know whom i'm refering to, don't blame me if the day when i withdrew all forms of mean to contact me and cease to exist. When I'm getting used to think that I'm not appreciated as a friend or i'm being make use of, I doubts this time round my 'wall' will be that easy to tear down like the Wall of Berlin.
So many things i wish to make planning for myself, yet tons and numerous times i had to replan and reconsider due to families, friends and work. Will there ever be such a time when i can start to think only of myself selfishly and not worried abt wat the hell others humans are thinking?
Monday, July 07, 2008
Hihi, to those who had been visiting my blog and notice i never update it haha.
okie a brief update of june, 8th june to 11th june, i was away with my auntie's family and grandma to church camp in Meleka. Cool and wonderfuly place :D Really full of history and good food? lol joking haha. Had been there for 4 day 3 night but spend 2 days there singing KTV lol the 1st nite sang from 10.30 to closing time at 3am :X power right lol. But the next day never really get to sing much cause went with a grp of aunties, my grandma was there too. But she never sing, she just watch. When the aunties were singing their oldies, i noticed i knew alot of the songs sia. could it be that i was old too lol. Anyway, i enjoy myself during the camp.
on 9th june to 10th june went batam with my company for their 2nd anniversary retreat. To speak the truth, the resort sux. but okie lar, i enjoy the performance my grp did for the talent night lol. Bohemian Rhapsody was our item song, we act according to that song, man that was great. I love the team work that my team had shown and guess wat we come in 1st lol. Oh ya in the retreat, i won a lucky draw, 2nd prize , OSIM iPamper. Guess wat my mom say, seem like ur whole year luck only worth a SG$188 lol :X cause i was praying in my heart asking, 'lord, if u can allow me to get at least a lucky draw winning, i will be glad to exchange my reminding year luck for this prize lol.'
After returning back to school to work, i can say till the end of june most of my working hours 75% went to the preparation for SYF opening. although alot of funny thing and weird thing happens, i still think it's a great learning experience for myself.
Oh ya, actually the reason i'm posting was just a moment ago, i was doing some reflection to wat my best friend had told me. After thinking over for a long time, i am thinking maybe it is really time to let go of the feelings i having for him. If it drag any longer, i might ended up like years ago after the rejection i recieve from jx. But sense and emotion really don't work well together, i can't seem to get my heart to feel and think like wat my brain is thinking and feeling. My heart is arguing, all those logics i had send it to ask my heart to stop producing those feelings i'm having for him but it keep dening my sending, like it had set up a firewall to prevent the sending in of files that it had detected as trojan, virus or worm. What should i do, let go before i sink any further into this feelings and get hurt in the future and spend another 4 years or more on recovering or just stop my heart from plumping right away? I really don't know, it's been so long since i was in such a dilemma.
maybe i should spend more time on thinking of my religions instead of love affairs? as i think that will be better than wat i used to do when i was trying to come out of my hard shell years ago.
Anyway just to mark an ending to today blog, Happy YOUTH Day to all Youth and Youth at hearts :D