Just now i walk pass the cinema saw the Butterfly Lovers poster acted by Wu Zun. Suddenly, i remember one thing from butterfly lovers story. Liang Shang Bo is a 呆头鹅... how can a guy be so dumb like him that he did not take note that a female who was so close to him and love him so much. I was also quite puzzled how could Zhu Yin Tai stand it, and how did she manage to endure being so close to the guy she like yet not able to tell. Both of them were so stupid.
Those were the thoughts i had years ago when i watch the movie acted by Wu Qin Long. Who will know that years later, today i will thought that it was romatic and noble. Some how in a way or so, i was able to felt how it was like to be close to the guy i like yet i was not able to tell out my feelings. Why... will i had such complicated feeling toward a guy...? When i was younger, i had no problems telling the guy that i like my feeling without hiding. Why was it that as i get older, my feeling start to evolve to be a coward.
But the guy that i like oso abit like 呆头鹅 lar. Don't know my feeling yet indirectly hurt me also don't know.
Maybe i don't deserve any of these humanly feeling or affections, that why when i know that none of my feelings won't be return, i won't felt sad at all.
erm weird weird haha howcome a movie poster can lead to so many memory link.
haha, for those who know me will know that i had retake my O lvl english this year. and finally now It is officially over. Alway i can say that i'm not too optimitist on the result i will be getting but hey who care since at least i was able to finish my papers although i tried my best but i still felt like failing again. But no one can be sure till the result is out. Guess i can only pray hard. hehe
Now back to concentrating on my work.
Today i was helping out in the Healthy Lifestyle walk and run held by Bedok South Secondary in Temasek JC. After helping awhile, i notice a familiar face. Gathering my courage, i asked,' sorry Sir, do you happen to teach in any school i had attended before?'
Guess what, he replied, ' ya, i used to teach in WSS.' And he remember my name with my surname. I was shocked cause i never thought i would see a teacher from those year. Life in WSS was never nice in my memory due to many bad and horribles memories but yet it was there i learn about alot of things. In my memory, tt Teacher, Mr Li that i met at the walk was my one of my PE teachers that taught me during my 3 years there. I was alway amazed by his 'xiao mei yang' the little scotter and he will alway ferried another teacher back. But few years ago i was told that teacher Mr Li alway ferried had passed away. After seeing Mr Li, a lot of memories from WSS surfaced.
Funny was alot of the old memories were linked to JX, NPCC and lewis. Haha thoese were the days where i was busy chasing JX and qurrealing with Lewis, and my training days in NPCC.
It even reminded me of some innocents thoughts i used to had. Like the numerous times i wished to have jx as my bf or wishing to attend the prom night with jx. Weird thing was i could not recall alot of those bad memory now but i could remember clearly those weird, funny and innocent thoughts i had made. Think age is really catching on me when all i can remember was mostly what i had thought about but i can't recall alot of details that had happen expect a few final events that caused a big impact in my future character development.
FInally conclusion to the title, Singapore is really small, i can even meet a retired teacher from my secondary school year.
17th October Friday, the school i'm working in had a graduating ceremony.
After hearing eleven's classes speechs to thank their teachers, there is only 5 things i can remember.
1st : All those thank you words felt so fake regardless which year the graduating students belonged to.
2nd : A lot of the speechs are dull and boring.
3rd : Famous quotes are alway quoted regardless of the year and repeated endlessly.
4th : I don't felt any sadness building up in me. I even felt that those who have cried are stupid and dumb.
5th : I always remember the first and last speeches cause that mark the start and the end of the ceremony.
Times really fly when i started thinking back to my own graduating ceremony in my poly year. I don't remember about having any graduating ceremony in Secondary or Primary school year. My Prom Night's planning in CKSS was cancel due to lack of budget. I had heard from some jokers mentioning that if i had continue studing in WSS, I might had a chance to attend the Prom Night if i could graduate.
Then in my poly final year, the Prom Night was only open to selected students so ended up, i did not get to attend it.
I had never attend my own Prom Night but I had helped to organise or participated in the helping out in 5 Prom Night. Once in CCSS, twice in Temasek Poly and this year will be my second times helping out in the Prom Night of the school i'm working in.
Will I ever had a chance to attend my own Prom Night? I don't know why, but I alway felt that if I ever had a chance to attend my own Prom Night, I might meet my Mr. Right there.
But all these are just a wishful thoughts. How was it possible for a 25 going 26 years old old woman get to attend her Prom Night.
Btw today i think i might had a prefect answer to the question that was bothering for a long time.
'He is just a nodding acquaintance.' Just a simple sentence will do. Why do i go through so much headaches thinking of an answer to the question that lead to this answer?
To speak the truth, what is the definition to the word, Friend?
According to Compact Oxford English Dictionary, Friend noun 1 a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations. 2 a familiar or helpful thing. 3 a person who supports a particular cause or organization. 4 (Friend) a Quaker
According to Dictionary.com, Friend –noun
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.
5. (initial capital letter) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker. –verb (used with object)
6. Rare. to befriend.
All these don't seemed to be a direct answer to what i'm seeking. How should i define the word?
I really don't know Everytime, i though i was friend with someone, i would felt or know that we are not, we are just mere acquaintance.
In human's relationship, Friendship and Love affairs are the most troublesome. I wish I could live without these emotions and relationship.
Hehe I'm back from attending my 1st Mac Party. Haha, i search through my diary. I had attended Party held at KFC, Burger King and A&W but never attended Mac before. Thus this is my 1st Mac party and enjoy myself.
When I attended a fun birthday party, I'll wish my birthday this year will be as fun too. Last year, i did enjoy myself alot too. Sometime I wish, i can have such fun every year on my birthday as last year.
Just now, in about ten minutes ago, i watch a show from Disney Channel, Legend of the Ring of the Fire. It mention about legends on how does the moon come about in Thailand. The legend has it, that The Sun god, alway ride his chariot out daily and went back to his castle at night. One day while riding pass the sky, he saw a beautiful Siam Princess. She was so beautiful that what ever clothes she wore, it will illuminate a light glow. The Sun God fall instantly in love with her. Because of that, he was alway around her all the times and there is only Day time, droughts happens as all water are dried up by the sun. Remember during night time, those little tiny sparkles we call stars. In this legend, it mention that the stars are littles kids who only come out to play during the night sky when the Sun God return to his castle in the sky. Sad that they can't come out to play, they observe from the sky what was happening. In a sudden occasion, the sun left his chariot and follow the princess into a cave that she enter. Notice this, the stars send the chariot back to the sun castle, without his chariot nearby, the sun start to lose his powers. He also understand that he must return to his castle. Understanding the serious of the matter, the princess start to cry. From, the start, the stars also like the princess alot. So they make an agreement with the sun so that the princess will stop crying. One, the sun must return to his castle daily and two, the princess must become the moon to accompany the stars to play whenever the sun are in the castle. The sun understand that he is immortal but the princess is not. Knowing this, both become sad but both the sun and the princess agrees as from then on, they could be together in all eternity. So the Sun return to his normal duties, and the Princess become the moon and on the day we can't see her, she will be with the man of her love, the sun in the castle.
This part is the part that i find it lovely. but how was it possible for a woman to love another guy for eternity? If i have the eternity, will i be able to live through it with the same guy that i love? Or was it possible for tt guy to love me for all eternity without a change of heart? I really don't know cause even i myself don't think i can. To speak the truth, years ago, when i was in secondary school, i thought i will alway like a certian guy but after some disappointment and indirect rejection from him. I lost all my affection for him. Now today, after almost a decade, i had fallen for numerous guys but none were able to return the feelings i had for them. Till today, I'm alway playing the part of being a secret admirer. Will i ever had a chance to fall in love with anyone and get back the same feeling from him? Cause for 1 thing i'm sure now is, the guy that i love now won't be able to return back the feelings, specially since i don't even had the courage to confess to him.
I know, the start of my blog and the middle started to look weird but like i said recently, my thinking are getting weirder and weirder as the days goes. Who know maybe the day will come when my mood swing is so bad that i might felt that suicide will be a better way out. But at the moment, the swing is still in between trusting human and myself. So that still not too bad. Just that when the trust level got too low, i will had weird rejection effects on my physical, mental still okie. Let hope the day will not come that I will wish i had the technology to destroy the whole human population.