Monday, March 30, 2009
Did not work on thursday and friday, as i was clearing my time-off hours. Nothing interesting happen. On thursday went to help out in Family Life centre gala dinner. Haiz, can't really help much. I understand that for these volunteering groups, they need a lot of money to run, but i notice that on the gala dinner that day, fund raising was not easy at all in such event. So much efforts put in, yet so little returns recieved.
Friday, went back to school for 30minutes to clear something and xiao jiu jiu come to school to fetch me, spend the whole afternoon with grandmother. I think maybe age catch up with her, alot of things she asked was repeated questions, but i still try my best to answer her again and again. I don't know why, i felt sad when i keep repeating the same answer. I don't know was it cause it is this time of the year or other factors. Fears of losing her, make me wanted to spend more time with her. Although i was not able to drive her around that much, yet i felt that i want to bring her out and enjoy different aspect of lifes. But 1 thing i know for sure is, even with transportation provided, my auntie will forbid me for bringing her out. although i'm not sure of the reason why. haiz... maybe till now i have not shown my responsible side to them or i was never ever be responsible for anything at all?
Things happens and past, it make me starting to wonder about a chinese saying, 前世的500次回望，才换来今生的一次擦肩而过。那我和我的家人与朋友到底要经历几世的轮回相遇于相望，才成就了如今的亲情与友情？
I wonder, so many things have happen in my short 26 years of life, going 27 at the end of the year. What have differents have i make in my life and others' lifes? The only things i can remember is how much i have hurt others directly, indirectly, with intention or without intentions. The rest, nothing. I never thought much before taking actions or saying things. In the end a lot of innocents souls and people was hurt by my actions and words. Did i regret what i did or say? I did for some, but for most of it, i did not. Reason? Cause I did not even know i did that, and being an arrogant fool, i also don't really bother to find it out. Now come to think of it, could that be the reason why in this short life span of mine, i have so many short-span friends?酒肉朋友何其多，红颜知己何其少。果然如古人所言知己亦难求。
think i will just stop here with my craze thoughts and hit my bed with my snooze.